It’s Not Time to Give Up. It’s Time to Do The Work.
I spoke to my 22 year old daughter in Seattle the morning after the election. She was sobbing about the outcome and was feeling bewildered, afraid, and devastated. Here's what I told her:
I hear you. Feel the feels. And then… know that we need people now more than ever before to dig deep, to listen deeply to all human beings, and to be present and engaged. When the systems we know are outdated or are blowing up, we need to be a part of creating something better. New. Visionary.
This is the beginning, not the end. We need people who have compassionate vision, empathy, and insight to stand up, lean in, listen to all sides, and create something incredible out of whatever may change in the years to come. So take your time to feel. And then take that energy and channel it into action. Create. Innovate. Model the values that you so desperately want to be present in this country.
From Nazi Germany came a new, modern, different Germany. From slavery and oppression came the Civil Rights Movement and something new, albeit imperfect—but something better than what was. With disruption there is always the possibility for growth, for progress, for transformation.
There is no running away. We have an assignment and it’s a long-term one. Understand the assignment and stay the course—with equanimity, optimism, focus, grit, curiosity, and kindness.
Now, having said all of this, I recognize that it can be easy to get overwhelmed, disillusioned, discouraged, and tired. Managing energy is critical as we put in the work to stay engaged, present, open-minded and curious. So I encourage you to reflect on what helps you manage your energy. Here are a few things I’ve been committed to lately, that have allowed me to expand perspective, focus on what matters and embrace resilience:
Unplugging from media and screens. Going old school feels amazing.
Moving my Body. After an intense workout on Sunday morning with my rowing team, I can attest that there is nothing like physical activity to get out of your head and into the body to make you feel alive.
Spending time in community. Whether your community revolves around like-minded peeps, furry friends, supportive family, or another activity that nourishes you, NOW is the time to embrace community. Preferably in person! This past week, my communities have helped me listen deeply, lighten up, and recharge. Just make sure the community you’re turning to truly supports you, instead of bringing you more toxicity, fear, or negativity.
Getting Outside. Whether it’s the rustle of leaves under your feet, the sensation of wind on your back, or the warmth of sun on your face, spending time in nature is a scientifically proven way to reduce stress, reconnect with ‘what is’ in real time, and recognize that there is a big, mysterious, incredible universe out there.
Getting Lost in Flow. Whether it’s reading (for fun please?!), cooking, solving a puzzle, playing an instrument, listening to music, writing or creating something… Flow is that sweet spot where time falls away, you are completely immersed, AND the activity at hand is within your capacity and/or ability, so it doesn’t create anxiety or stress.
Practicing Mindfulness. You can always tap into stillness and the present moment through meditation, breathwork, or another mindfulness modality—a proven way to decrease stress, improve our wellbeing and heal. If you need some guidance, please use our free guided meditations HERE.
And let’s admit…sometimes we still can’t escape our negative, anxious, catastrophizing thoughts. Whether it’s your feelings about US politics or another thought that is creating negativity in your life, we use a formal system with our clients at Inseus to help them investigate challenging thoughts, overcome limiting beliefs, shift mindset, and access contentment. It was developed by author and healer Byron Katie and is called ‘The Work.’ I was introduced to this powerful framework in teacher training with Byron Katie herself, and it’s been a game-changer for me personally and professionally. The Work consists of 4 Questions + The Turnarounds. Here’s how to do it:
Step 1: Pre-Work
To begin, relax and be still. Recall a specific situation where you were stressed, angry, hurt, sad, judgmental or disappointed with someone or with a situation. Bring that to your mind's eye. Be there now. Notice, name, and feel the emotion you were experiencing at the time. Find the reason you were upset.
Step 2: Write It Down
Staying anchored in the situation, write down the stressful complaint, judgment, challenging thought or negative belief in a simple, succinct sentence.
Example: He/she/they should be more supportive.
Step 3: Check Your Narrative, Thought, or Story
Is it true? Yes or No.
Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Yes or No. (100% true? Would all others say it is 100% true?)
How do you react or what happens when you believe that thought? (How do you feel? What do you think? How do you treat yourself and others? What images of the past or future come up for you?)
Who would you be without that thought? (How would you feel? How would you behave? How would this impact your relationships, with yourself and others?)
The Work is a meditation practice. It’s like diving into yourself. Contemplate the questions, one at a time. Be still. Drop into the depths of yourself, listen, and wait. The answer will meet your question. Write down your answers.
Step 4: Turn It Around
Now, turn the thought around. To do the turnarounds, find opposites of the original statement and write them down. Identify the opposite using He/She/They and using I/Me. Find 3 turnarounds that feel appropriate. Then, for each turnaround, write down three examples of how this turnaround could be as true or truer than the original stressful thought. For some statements, you may only find one or two turnarounds, and for some, you may identify more than three turnarounds. If you get stuck on the I/Me turnaround, try adjusting language to “my thinking” or “my mindset”. Some turnarounds may not make any sense to you. Don’t force these.
The Work can be most impactful when practiced together in community and the good news is I’ll be leading a free, in-person session this month in Chicago. Join me on November 19th at ALTAR Community to get curious and investigate the limiting thoughts that may be holding you back from accessing healthier energy and greater peace. Click here to RSVP now!
Mindfully yours,
Ashley