Tiny Gains. Big Impact.

“Success is a few simple disciplines, practiced every day; while failure is simply a few errors in judgment, repeated every day.” —Jim Rohn

In a recent conversation, a very successful executive who recently participated in our Search Inside Yourself (SIY) Leadership Development Program made a statement similar to others I’ve heard before.

He said: “On the days I practice what I learned in SIY, I notice a difference in how well that day goes. And when I don't do those practices, for whatever reason—I’m racing to the airport, I have a million meetings on my schedule, everyone wants a chunk of me—I notice I’m more agitated, less focused, and far less productive. I know the practices you teach work. So why don’t I just do them every day?”

He’s not alone in asking that question. A bit of background about the SIY Program structure will put my answer in context.

Following a two-day immersion—where we introduce and explore various mindfulness, emotional intelligence, and leadership practices—there’s a 28-day integration period. During this time, participants receive a different challenge every day via email. These challenges are a set of mixed modality practices that take anywhere from 30 seconds to three minutes for people to integrate into their day.

At the end of the 28-day period, we have a final follow-up session. Nearly all who have seriously accepted the challenges report back about how transformative the experience has been. They say they’re blown away by the myriad of insights and skills they’ve learned to apply to everyday life at work and at home. They report that they’ve improved not only their own effectiveness, but their emotional and mental well-being.

As a teacher and practitioner, I find this feedback gratifying and aligned with my own experience. I often check back in with these same individuals to see how things are going. Sometimes, they’re still practicing the skills and reaping the benefits. Sometimes they're not.

For the latter individuals, their frustration is often palpable and real. They say things like: “I couldn't do it.” “I avoided it.” or “I just couldn't break my normal cycle.” And I reassure them that it’s okay. That’s just part of being human.

I also suggest that people sometimes are trying too hard to integrate mindfulness into their lives. They may approach it solely as a dedicated activity—something that is done at a separate time and place from the rest of their day.

This is where people sometimes miss the mark. They see mindfulness as a lofty Holy Grail, something that involves sitting on a cushion and meditating for an hour every morning, or journaling for 30 minutes at the end of their day.

To be clear, the practice of mindfulness can incorporate all that and more, which of course can be wonderful and fulfilling. But mindfulness extends well beyond these dedicated practices. At its core, mindfulness is simply about being present every single moment of our lives.

This includes that moment in a conversation where you’re truly present and fully engaged with what the other person is saying, rather than planning what you’re going to say next. And that moment in a heated negotiation when you must make a split-second decision, and rather than reacting from conditional habits, you take an intentional pause and respond with emotional intelligence. And that moment when you're alone in your car, waiting patiently and simply noticing your surroundings at a red light that never seems to change. And that moment at your computer when you stay focused on the task at hand rather than reading an email promoting a cruise on the Danube.

The skills required to remain present at every moment—whether we call them mindfulness, emotional intelligence, or human skills—can be learned and, with practice, integrated into our everyday lives.

Sometimes we resist doing so in the mistaken belief that implementing something new or different requires a massive effort. What we often fail to realize is that great change can be achieved through the power of tiny gains—small, frequent actions that move us steadily towards our goal.

Here’s some math that comes from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear to put things into perspective: if we can improve by just one percent each day for one year, we’ll end the year nearly thirty-eight times better than we started. Conversely, if we get one percent worse each day for one year, we’ll decline nearly down to zero.

It can also be helpful to remember the concept of neuroplasticity, which tells us that our brains have the capacity to change and form new neural connections over time. More simply put, what we practice grows stronger and primes our brain to more readily travel new neural pathways. So when we integrate even a little bit of mindfulness or emotional intelligence into our daily routine, it helps make these practices feel more natural and ultimately, easier to do.

The bottom line: it’s not necessary to make drastic changes when you want to adopt new behaviors. Small, consistent changes over time can add up to remarkable results.

In part two of this series, I’ll talk more about the process of intentionally building new habits, why it works, and how to sustain it. Stay tuned.

Mindfully yours,
Ashley