How to Complete the Stress Cycle
“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” —Hans Selye
Stress. We all experience it. And though what causes stress can differ from person to person, there are some common triggers, including work demands, finances, personal relationships, health, and self-criticism. Stress can be caused by everything from major life events like moving or starting a new job to daily inconveniences like running late or misplacing something.
But what is stress really? Hans Selye, a Hungarian-Canadian endocrinologist, first coined the term in 1936 and described it as “the non-specific response of the body to any demand for change.” Said another way, stress is wanting something to be different than it is.
Seyle went on to coin the terms “eustress” to refer to positive or beneficial stress and “distress” to refer to negative or harmful stress. Eustress allows us to view a stressor as a positive challenge, whereas with distress we perceive it as a negative threat. Eustress can energize us and motivate us to make a change. Distress can lead to fatigue, exhaustion, and eventually burnout.
That being said, the physiological response in our body is similar whether we’re experiencing “good” stress or “bad” stress. So the problem with stress really occurs when we don’t appropriately signal to our bodies that a particular stressor is over.
It can help to visualize our stress response as a tunnel—with a beginning, a middle, and an end. If we don’t make it all the way through that tunnel, if we don’t fully process our emotions, our body doesn’t understand that the stress is over.
And unfortunately, simply removing a stressor doesn’t mean you’ve dealt with the stress. In other words, just because the stressor itself is gone, it does not mean that the body’s response to that challenge or threat is over. We may cling to thoughts or emotions related to the stressor, effectively getting “stuck” in the stress tunnel. We may adopt maladaptive coping mechanisms—such as avoiding, compartmentalizing, lashing out, or numbing through substances or over-eating—keeping us stuck in the stress tunnel. In order to adequately deal with stress, you have to go all the way through the tunnel and complete the stress cycle!
In their book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, researchers Emily Nagosky, PhD, and Amelia Nagosky, DMA, share seven practical strategies for completing the stress cycle. Let’s dive in.
1. Movement
Movement is the number one way to move through the stress cycle. Literally any type of physical activity activates the parasympathetic nervous system and sends a signal to your body that it’s safe to proceed. Go for a walk, do yoga, exercise, play your favorite sport, dance—choose an activity you enjoy and lose yourself in it.
For an “in the moment” practice, try “Tense & Release:” Take a deep inhale and bring all of your attention to tensing your whole body or even just a particular area of your body. Hold that tension for several moments, and then fully release all tension, letting out a deep exhale as you do. Do this for several rounds, communicating to the body that you are moving through the stress cycle.
2. Breath
The breath is always with us and we can use it as a gentler way to move through the stress cycle. Simply turning your attention to the breath, even for just one inhale and one exhale, activates the parasympathetic nervous system and takes us out of the emotional, reactive, default mode network of the brain.
A great practice to try is Diaphragmatic (Belly) Breathing: Place one hand on your heart and one hand on your lower belly. Take a deep inhale through the nose with your mouth closed, and allow the belly to expand past the chest, keeping the chest as stationary as possible. Take a deep exhale, and allow the belly to move back towards the spine. Think of your diaphragm/lower abdomen as a balloon inflating and deflating. This practice floods the nervous system with a calming chemical cocktail, communicating to the body and brain that you are moving through the stress cycle.
3. Connection
Positive social interaction helps us feel like we belong and belonging triggers feelings of safety and the secretion of ‘feel good’ hormones throughout the body. This can mean spending quality time with a loved one or exchanging kind words with the barista at your local coffee shop or a neighbor you pass on the sidewalk.
For an “in the moment” practice, try a “Shift to Connection Micro Mantra:” Simply bring another person to mind, notice a human similarity, and extend feelings of warmth and kindness to that person.
4. Laughter
We’re not talking about a polite giggle—we’re talking about full body, deep belly, uncontrollable laughter. Even envisioning previous times you’ve completely given yourself over to laughter can be beneficial. In their book, the Nagosky sisters quote neuroscientist Sophie Scott who explains that, “laughter is an ancient evolutionary system that mammals have evolved to make and maintain social bonds and regulate emotions.”
5. Crying
I’m sure we can all relate to that feeling of release after having a truly good cry. Crying serves as a physical expression of stress and emotions and because it has a beginning, middle, and end, it’s a great way to signal to our bodies that we’ve moved through the stress cycle.
6. Affection
Research shows that a 20-second hug or 6-second kiss with someone you love and trust lowers cortisol levels and releases the social bonding hormone, Oxytocin, which can help lower blood pressure and heart rate and improve mood.
You can also express affection for yourself through Supportive Touch Practices. Try placing a hand on your heart, cradling your face, gently stroking your arm, holding your hands together, or even giving yourself a hug. Once you identify what feels best for you, simply notice the sensation of a warm touch and extend kindness and support to yourself as you breathe in and out.
7. Creativity
Express yourself! Take what’s inside of you and put it outside of you, whether that’s through drawing, painting, singing, writing, or any other form of creative expression that you enjoy. The process here is what’s important so don’t worry about the final product being anything other than a vehicle for you to express and work through your emotions.
As much as we may wish we could eliminate stress completely, that’s not the reality of the world we live in. But building a toolkit of exercises to better manage our stress when it does come can be a game changer. Explore these strategies for completing the stress cycle and find what works best for you.
Mindfully yours,
Caitlin of Inseus
Further Resources:
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski, PhD, and Amelia Nagoski, DMA
Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky
The Stress of Life and Stress Without Distress by Hans Seyle
Burnout: The High Cost of High Achievement by Herbert Freudenberger
Podcast: Brene Brown with Emily and Amelia Nagoski on Burnout and How to Complete the Stress Cycle