Creating Space
“I think it is essential sometimes to go into retreat, to stop everything that you have been doing, to stop your beliefs and experiences completely and look at them anew, [rather than] keep on repeating like machines… let fresh air into your mind.” —Jiddu Krishnamurti
I believe in the power of going on retreat. Why? Because it’s an opportunity to set boundaries, be intentional, and create much needed space. In that space, I find myself able to see life more clearly—both the opportunities and my own habitual tendencies, limiting beliefs, and unhelpful behaviors—with more awareness and kindness. In the container that is co-created on retreat, it’s easier to reconnect with my values, and observe the ways that they are or are not showing up in my life. Stepping away from routine, shifting from “doing mode” to “being mode”, and dedicating purposeful time to what matters most, offers a palpable, dramatic, and lasting shift on my physical, emotional, and relationship health.
Many of you know that I lead retreats at Inseus and can attest to the transformative benefits and ‘ah-ha’ insights experienced by our retreat participants. What you may not know is that every year, I too go on retreat. You may wonder: If you teach all of this yourself, what’s the point of going on retreat?
While my relationship with resilience, growth mindset and well-being practices is deep, I find that each time I go on retreat, I hear things a new way, I experience things a new way, and I am supported in a new way. On retreat, I set boundaries in my own life, deepen my own practice, shift mind and heart-set in areas I feel stuck, and connect with human beings who both remind me that I am not alone, and inspire me by being authentic and real.
Last week, I returned from Combutal, Panama and a week-long retreat with one of my first and favorite teachers in the mindfulness space, Claire Mark. I showed up in Panama with bright eyes, a wide smile, and a felt sense of relief for the ability to clear my schedule for this time away. At least, that’s what I wore on the surface.
Just under the surface, I felt fragile, heavy, sad, and longing for a shift. For over a decade, we’ve navigated a chronic and life-threatening illness, anorexia, with our daughter. Last year the illness resurfaced in a severe and dangerous way. With it, I’ve found myself stuck in fear-based thinking, unhelpful rumination, and catastrophizing about the worst-case scenario. I tell myself this is necessary to prepare for anything, but in reality it creates more suffering and pain. It impacts my own health, and it affects my connections with others—including my daughter, spouse, and other friends and family who care deeply and just want to help.
In spite of my own daily practice and ability to teach others to change their relationship with stress, I am finding it difficult to rewire my own reactivity on this one, as the body automatically launches its remembered trauma response. And yet, I know we are all where we are meant to be in life—learning, growing, and meeting our teacher on the journey, who presents us with the opportunity to deepen our existence.
Serendipitously, on our first day of retreat, we explored the yogic philosophy and Sanskrit concepts of Sukha and Dukkha. Sukha in Sanskrit translates to ‘good space.’ It refers to a felt sense of joy, happiness, openness, and ease. In Sukha, there is a spaciousness that we feel in mind, body and soul, that allows us to access joy, gratitude, and for me, hope. In contrast, Dukkha refers to unease, suffering, pain, and discomfort. The felt sense of Dukkha is a tightness, anxiety, frustration, or anger.
We were asked to consider, “Where in our life can we access more space? From intrusive thoughts, negativity, pain, or discomfort? Where in our life are we over-attaching to suffering, to Dukkha? This felt sense of tightness, anxiety, fear, or frustration?”
Through several breath practices, guided meditations, and yoga asanas, we began the work of recognizing what more spaciousness feels like. Collectively, we peeled back the layers of our own conditional habits that often get in the way of accessing Sukha—spaciousness, joy, good space. I reflected: What do I notice when I default to Dukkha? Do I even recognize when it’s happening? What thoughts, bodily sensations, or behaviors are present? What practices support a shift to good space? What works for me? How can I bring this shift off the mat and into my everyday life?
And so it began… the weeklong journey of retreat. Everyday there was thoughtful discussion, mixed modality practices, dedicated time on the mat, and “homework” to deepen awareness and support integration. I left Panama with a new way of being. I find more ease setting boundaries in my own life, and even in my own thinking. I find myself able to shift to more spaciousness and to reconnect with how I want to show up—which is immediately translating into a healthier, gentler, more effective and loving ME. The ripple effect is palpable. This is the power of going on Retreat.
Ready to take the plunge and commit to RETREAT? Join me this April in Utah for a Spring Training & Transformation Retreat; or this July in Michigan for a Summer Refresh & Recharge Retreat. Experience a liberating shift, in order to create clarity, connection, and “good space” in your life. I can’t wait to practice together!
Mindfully yours,
Ashley
Still not sure if retreat is right for you? Here are answers to a few frequently asked questions. And please don’t hesitate to get in touch if you have any others—I’d be happy to connect one-on-one and answer any and all questions you have!
Frequently Asked Questions
Who are retreats for?
Anyone can go on retreat! No matter your age, gender, or background, we welcome everyone with open arms.What if I’d like to go on retreat but can’t afford it?
Our hope is to make our retreats accessible to everyone. Please reach out to info@inseus.com to learn more about our retreat scholarships and price accommodations.What does a typical day on retreat look like?
Each retreat schedule is unique, but a typical day at retreat includes meal time(s), learning sessions & skill building, yoga & meditation practice time, outdoor activities, and free time.Do I have to share? What if I don’t want to talk or socialize?
You are invited to share only if you’re comfortable! Everyone joins a retreat in a different place. Some may prefer to go inward, access quiet, and be alone, whereas some may prioritize connection with others and the energy that comes from socializing. There is an easy space for all of it on retreat. You are in a container of non-judgment, curiosity, and kindness.What if I’ve never meditated before?
No problem! Meditation sessions will be guided and accessible for everyone, from first-time meditators to experienced practitioners.What if I want to sleep in?
Retreats are meant to be a time dedicated to you and what will serve you best. If that’s extra sleep, then we absolutely encourage you to hit the snooze button!Can I enjoy a cocktail or two?
Retreats are a great time to bring awareness to your usual habits of consumption. That being said, alcohol is often available during meals for those who wish to enjoy it!What if I want to do my own thing?
Again we encourage you to be mindful and prioritize what will serve you best. If there’s a particular item on our retreat agenda that isn’t resonating with you, you are more than welcome to spend that time doing something else.Can I use my cell phone or other technology while on retreat?
While it can be quite a powerful experience to fully unplug from technology on retreat, we understand that’s often easier said than done. We encourage you to bring awareness to the “why” behind your technology use and perhaps limit your device diet throughout retreat.